Invented a contraption that we know so well
 By the 1950's they were in everybody's home
 As a crazy little thing they call the telephone
 Now there's one on every corner, in the back of every bar
 You can get one in your briefcase, on a plane or in your car

 Chorus:
 So tell me why, haven't I heard from you
 Tell me why, haven't I heard from you
 I say now: Darlin', honey, what is your excuse
 Why haven't I heard from you

 Well there's no problem gettin' to me
 Baby you can dial direct
 I got call forwarding and call waiting
 You can even call collect
 The service man he told me that my phone is working fine
 And I've come to the conclusion trouble isn't with my line
 I'm sure the operator will be glad to put you thru
 So dial zero for assistance if this all confuses you

 (Repeat chorus)

 There better been a flood, a landslide of mud
 A fire that burns up the wires
 And a thunder so loud with a black funnel cloud
 A natural disaster I know nothin' about

 (Repeat chorus twice