I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon 

And raise big bucks for MDA 

Cuz Jerry raises millions every year 

And we'll equally divide the pay 

I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon 

With great big famous Vegas superstars 

And that jerk with three trained oranguatans 

We'll play real fast and smash our guitars 



[Chorus:]

Slam dancing with Jerry's kids 

And having lots of fun 

Singing swearwords on the air 

Yeah, Jerry's number one 

He'd say we're number one till he heard us play 

Then he'd kick us off the show 

But it's too late, we're here to stay 

And we aren't gonna go 



I wanna do the natural act with Charo 

Tango with old men in pink golf pants 

I wanna play killer thrashing punk 

So even Jerry will slamdance 

I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon 

And booze backstage with Ed McMahon 

Your pledges will buy us lots of beer 

So call right now and pledge a hundred grand 



[Repeat Chorus]