So here's the story of a man who stole to make ends meet
A man who's running out of luck, ah yes, that man is me
One faithful day a carriage came, with silver, gems, and gold
It stumbled right before my feet, I took all I could hold

But then the guards, they halted me, they pointed all their guns
I stood a moment and I knew that I would have to run
The streets flew by so quickly, but a barrel blacked my track
I'd nowhere left to go, and so my hands went on my back

I've made it this far, but lost track of my luck
Dodged every bullet, earned quite the schmuck
I'll tell you the tale of a man still here now
But please don't ask questions I can't tell you how!

I spent the night behind those bars, the gallows called me out
I met those ropes, I saw my end, my death, there was no doubt
But then a bang, some shrapnel flew, the rope was cleft in twains
For pirates came to stir the land and I was spared my pain

I found myself a rusty tub, 't could barely even float
I sailed it out upon the sea with nothing but me coat
But then the clouds went dancing 'round and conjured up the gales
It knocked me down and split me raft and sent me to the whales

I've made it this far, but lost track of my luck
Dodged every bullet, earned quite the schmuck
I'll tell you the tale of a man still here now
But please don't ask questions I can't tell you how!

I woke to find a lonely sheep secreting on my chest
I scared him off and walked his trail and found this town out west
Somehow I am still alive, though death gave me his wink 
("I'll get you next time, pretty boy")
And so I live to rove again, now pass me one more drink!

I've made it this far, but lost track of my luck
Dodged every bullet, earned quite the schmuck
I'll tell you the tale of a man still here now
But please don't ask questions I can't tell you how!