yourself down on burgundy couch, you know, it never really was burgundy.
It was red, and you painted with the goddamn sprinkler and now you have
bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your butt every time you get off of
it. You never tell your family, you never tell your family because, you
know, ol' Junior, he's got no brains, and what can you do? What can you
do?

CHORUS
Grab yourself a can of pork soda
You'll be feeling just fine
Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house
Swillin' down them Kansas wine

Ha ha ha! Yes, Dad's an idiot alright!

Well, alright, I'm really starting to worry about you. You had to have
that two-car garage with the large driveway so you could park that goddamn
boat in it. If it wasn't for the boat (blah blah blah).

CHORUS

I like Kansas wine...

Well, maybe it's something simpler, like your team lost or your girlfriend
used to be a guy, you know, I don't know. I mean...(blah blah blah)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------