Hey kids, listen up if you want to be sick
'Cause your dinner looks like something from a Cronenburg flick
Think twice before you cuss and shout "damn damn damn"
Let me tell you a story about green eggs and ham.
There was a little yellow man called Sam-I-Am
That's me!
I don't like you, Sam-I-Am
Well, that's fine, that's cool, I understand
But do you like green eggs and ham?
I don't like green eggs and ham
No, I don't like 'em, Sam-I-Am
Would you like them here or there?
I wouldn't like them anywhere
'Cause I do not like them, Sam-I-Am
No, I don't like green eggs and ham
Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse?
Maybe you can't hear, you got something in your ear?
No
I'm gonna make this perfectly clear
I would not like them in a house, I would not like them with a mouse
I would not like them here or there, I wouldn't like them anywhere
'Cause I do not like them, Sam-I-Am,
No, not for me, green eggs and ham
Would you like them if I served them to you in a box
Candlelight, wine and a bottle of scotch?
Yeah, some soft lighting, soft music, maybe some Fred Penner on the blaster...
Not in a box with a fox or a house with a mouse
Stop bugging me, you louse!
I would not eat them, no, man, I don't like your green eggs and ham
Well, would you could you in a car, eat them, don't deny who you are
He's gonna like them, you're gonna see
You might like them up in a tree
No, not in a tree, not in a car, would you let me be
No fox no box no house no mouse, not here, there, or anywhere
'Cause you guessed it, I don't like green eggs and ham
I don't like 'em, Sam-I-Am
A train, a train, a train, a train! Would you, could you in a train
Or up in an aeroplane?
How 'bout in the dark? We could drive and park
We could listen to the crickets and the pit bulls bark
No, not in a plane, not in the dark, not on a train, not in a car, not up a tree
'Cause I don't like 'em, Sam, see,
Not in a schoolhouse or a shoebox with a house-mouse or a red fox
Not here, there, and everywhere
Didn't even like the Beatles with their long, long hair.
Hey! You lay off the Beatles, buddy! ...
Well, you don't like green eggs and ham
Oh, Mr. Perception, Sam-I-Am
Well I know that you'd like 'em if you ate 'em with a goat!
I would not could not with a goat
Well would you could you on a boat
I would not could not on a boat
And I will not ever with a goat
I'm not interested in stuffing face in the rain, on a train, I should introduce you to my friend pain
Not in the dark, not up a tree,
Not on your fine china with Earl Grey Tea
No boxes, foxes, houses, mouses, husbands and wives - no spouses!
Why you trying to make me eat that?
I don't like it, I wouldn't serve it to my cat
I said already, I don't like them, Sam-I-Am,
I do not like green eggs ham!
Mr. Cheese! You just think you don't like them, so you say
And he's beginning to remind me of Doris Day
You say you don't like this and you don't like that
Well you're starting to sound like a finicky cat
Just try them, try them, and you may find you like nothing better than
Two greenish eggs over easy in the fry-pan
And to accompany this fine taste we have Martian ham - pork from space!
Now Sam, if you get out of my face
I'll try that and puke all over the place (good!)
Nothing makes a crowd disperse more quick
Than a great big puddle of sick!

Say...say...not bad, green eggs and ham
I believe I like them, Sam-I-Am
And I'd eat them in a boat, with a billy goat,
I'd eat them in the rain in the dark on a train
In a car, up a tree, they're pretty good, you see
So I'd eat them in a box with a fox
I'd eat them in a house and with the house-mouse
I'd eat them here, I'd eat them there
I'd eat them in my Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear
I think you're ok, Sam-I-Am
Well, I wouldn't let you down, you stubborn old man!
Hey, we should share them, eh, we got enough

...Are you kidding? I don't eat that stuff!