Tabbed and written out by Ryan Bowman (rybow203@hotmail.com)
I'd be interested to know if anyone got any use out of this.

This is roughly the music and words from Steve Martin's classic "Silver Bells" monologue on Saturday Night Live.  There are a guitar and piano playing together, only guitar shown here.  The whole thing opens with Paul Simon (?) singing a nice rendition of "Silver Bells":

Silver bells,            silver bells,
 G                       C         Am
-----------------------------------------------
-----0-----0-----0-----0-----1---------1-----1-
---0-----0-----0-----0-----0---0-----2-----2---
-------0-----------0---------------------2-----
-------------------------3-------2-0-----------
-3-----------3---------------------------------

it's Christmas time in the city
 D                       G
-------------------------------------------
-----3-----3-----3-----3-----0---0^1-0-----
---2-----2-----2-----2-----0---0-------0---
-------4-----------4---------------------0-
-5-----------5-----------------------------
-------------------------3-----------------

The music just repeats over and over while Steve Martin tells his monologue:

Last night my child looked up at me and said, "Uncle Steve-".  He didn't know I was his father and, I didn't know for sure either.  I just assumed I was.  I'd had his mother so many times, and in so many different ways, the odds were with me.  Anyway, he looked up at me and said, "What does Christmas mean to you?"  And I said, Lemiel, Christmas is a time for giving, a time for receiving, a time for eggnog and rum.

A time for cutting down trees and hanging plastic doo-dads on them and watching them die slowly in your living room... catch fire and burn down your house and all your possessions.

It's a time for buying things that haven't sold all year long, wrapping them up in shiny paper, and giving them to your friends.  Return them and find out you got in on sale, and they can only exchange them for things of equal value like charcoal briquettes or matchbooks with other people's names on them.

A time for giving your wife that special coat she's always wanted.  Those seals didn't need their fur, anyway.  What do they want it for, they're dead already.

It's a time for eggnog and brandy.  Driving home on icy streets.  Accidentally nudging the car next to you off the bridge into the frozen river.  Watching the car sink.  Seeing bubbles float up under the water.

It's time to sip an eggnog martini and think about the poor.  Talk of feeding the naked and clothing the hungry.

A time to get Christmas cards from all your friends and Consolidated and Allied and Acme.

A time for seeing all those happy children sitting on Santa's lap at Toyland, thinking to yourself, "Hmmm...  Maybe I'll be a Santa next year.  Twelve years is not so far from eighteen.  Maybe I should be laying a little groundwork for the future."

It's a time for parties at the office with eggnog and vodka.  Telling your boss what you really think of him, while he gets a perfect Xerox of your wife's rear end.