[Frau Blucher]
Love comes when you least suspect it,
love dances in on a whim,
I thought maybe I could direct it,
But I never expected...
A guuy like him.

He was a bully und a brute,
he vas as crazy as a coot,
still I didn't give a hoot,
He vas my boyfriend!

With ev'ry voman he vould flirt,
He alvays treated me like dirt,
But I vas happy to be hurt,
He vas my boyfriend!

I vas as pure as a virgin meadow,
lying with Vicotr in the gloam.
Then he turned to me, that charmer, whispered, "Let's 
play farmer."
And plowed me 'til the cows came home!

He vas a monster and a beast,
His midnight bangings never ceased,
it didn't faze me in the least,
He vas my boyfriend!

(spoken)
I'll never forget the first time I met Victor. It vas 
on the village green, 
at the annual bock beer festival, where every beer cost 
a bock. 
I vas an innocent young lamb and he was a dirty old 
goat. 
Ve vere made for each other. 
All of a sudden, he took out his paraphernalia and 
shouted, 
"Let's play croquet!", and off to the field ve vent. 
He carried his hoops and mallets and I carried his 
balls. 
What a festival! Fun and games all day long. Archery, 
badminton, potato sack. 
Victor won the three-legged race...all by himself. It 
vas love at first sight.

(sung)
He vas the one I gave my heart to,
but ve never wed even so,
If I mentioned wedlock,
he'd put me in a headlock!

Vhen I asked to be his wife, 
he stabbed me with a kitchen knife,
Ach, where did the good times go?

If he had an angry fit,
I vas the first thing that he'd hit,
but I didn't give a shit...

He vas my boyfriend!