I wrote a song about a fetus named Cletus who tried
To run for governor before he died
He lived in California but traveled worldwide
It was a big huge hit! Just kidding I lied
There's the song about the 90's, I sampled Ace of Base
But kept it off the album in the interest of taste
“Cheyenne Rock City,” a song about touring
But rhymes about Wyoming are really very boring
As for the Churchill song, give me a break!
How many songs about England could my listeners take?
There was a track about women and the drama they bring
“Hot Girls Make Guys Do Really Stupid Things”
Remember “Geeked Out”? You don't but I do,
“The geek shall inherit the Earth,” it's true!
I rapped about nerds being cooler than jocks
But if I wanted biased news,
I would have just watched Fox

I've got 21 concepts but a hit ain't one
If you're having lyric problems I feel bad for you son
I've got a list of songs here I once thought were the bomb
But when I laid them down in ProTools
They all came out wrong!

“Las Vegas Invasion” was a sci-fi track
About aliens addicted to playing blackjack
I wrote a song about a kid who made his own flick
But got a bad review in Ranger Rick
I didn't want to get lynched or punched in mouth
So I didn't do that song making fun of the South
I did a song about how girls at Stanford are whack
Called “College Is Where Girls Go to Get Fat”
There was the KRS slash Nirvana debut
But the mash-up thing was so 2002
I did an anti-Bush track, and then I did five more
But “Rock Against Bush” was so 2004
I wrote a song about China, how could I go wrong?
I rapped in Cantonese about Mao Zedong
It went um goy, neh ho ma?
Nehih sik ying mun ma?

I've got 21 concepts but a hit ain't one
If you're having lyric problems I feel bad for you son
I've got CD-R of tracks I once thought would be tight
But when I played it for my girl I slept alone that night!

Write a song about a can that gets crushed a lot
Write a dental hygiene jam that says, “brush a lot”
Write a Bill O'Reilly track that says “hush” a lot
No I'm not a player I like Rush a lot!

I've got 21 concepts but a single ain't one
“If you're still referencing Jay Z I feel bad for you son”
So what's the secret to hip-hop, jazz, blues and rock?
Step one get out a pad and kill your writer's block… start!
I've got 21 concepts but a hit ain't one
If you're having lyric problems I feel bad for you son
I've got a list of songs here I once thought were the bomb
But when I laid them down in ProTools
They all came out wrong!