Yo Yvette  there's a lot of rumours goin' around
 They're so bad  baby you might have to skip town
 See something's smellin' fishy and they say it's you
 All I know is that you made it with the whole damn crew
 They say you're a man eater during the full moon
 Mascot of the senior boys' locker room
 They said Yvette walked in  there wasn't too much rap
 Her reputation got bigger  and so did her gap
 Cuz girl your momma shoulda taught you better
 I'mma sit down and write you a long letter.

 Chorus

 Dear Yvette x4

 Verse 2

 I'm glad you ain't my sister, then again if you was
 I'd have to treat you like you was my distant cuz
 I'm not a news reporter, I don't mean to assume
 What should I think? I seen ya comin' out the men's bathroom
 You wasn't in there alone, wasn't usin' the phone
 The door was locked for twenty minutes, all I heard was "Moan".

 Repeat chorus

 Verse 3

 I don't really know if the story is so
 I can either ask Curly, or Larry or Moe
 or Earl, Shabazz, Lou, Mookie or Joe
 Like Santa Claus said, you're a ho-ho-ho
 In every disco you say hello
 Like you're a little angel, but we all know
 Since you was eleven you been actin' this way
 You always got in bed when you wanted to play
 You're a freak, you think you're Lady Godiva
 Some freaks are live, but Yvette you're liver.

 Repeat chorus

 Verse 4

 You're a back-seat queen, a elevator pro
 A high-powered body makes your Levis grow
 See the stories I've heard, they could amaze
 I heard she did it on a motorcycle back in the days
 So calm down freak, get a G.E.D.
 That's a General Education on Decency
 One day you'll see, and agree with me
 unless you're gonna be a freak until you're 93
 For you there's no fee, everything is free
 This is from me to you, not you to me
 Every night is your night, your leather pants are tight
 You try to shake your butt with all your might
 I don't really wanna dis nobody
 You might think I had a little too much Bacardi
 But that's not the problem, the problem's Yvette
 How bad can a girl's reputation get?
 See she's the kinda girl all the homeboys met
 If you're desparate ask Yvette, cuz she'll say "Bet".

 Repeat chorus

 Verse 5

 B-Boys are hard on the boulevard
 The Reverend at the church said you was barred
 Homeboys on the block love you a lot
 You're a real famous freak whether you like it or not
 So before you start walking and your beak starts squawkin'
 let me explain to you who is talkin'
 I'm L.L. Cool J from around the way
 You boogie down to my records almost every day
 Go a hundred miles an hour when you're standin' still
 You're faster than my Caddy when it's goin' downhill
 Won't forget that day in the Y.M.C.A.
 The guy at the desk said it was OK
 for you to come inside cuz he knew you'd stay
 Greg G. and Garfield yelled "Hooray"

 Repeat chorus x2