Transcribed by Peter Tripp
mgervick@housing.umass.edu

Detachable Penis by King Missile:

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of
the time. I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a
party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember
what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find
it, so I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason, I leave
it there sometimes, but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let
me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help
either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without
my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man and I really
hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of
searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting
to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and at breakfast. Then as I
walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place,where all those people
sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a
blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to
buy it off him. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it
home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't
know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a
detachable penis.