[Verse 1]
The menu at this restaurant
Has everything you'd ever want,
But nothing that quite fancies me.
I do not want the steak bernese,
I do not want the duck flambe,
These specials don't sound "special" to me.

[Chorus]
I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.

[Verse 2]
God is great, God is good.
Let us thank Him for this Randy. Amen.
Randy is a three-course meal,
Plus dessert to seal the deal.
Oh, and I'll be needing a to-go box.

[Chorus]
I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.

[Spoken]
Happy Birthday, Randy.
Randy, it's so good to see you.
Would you like to ride my bicycle?
Randy, wish me a happy anniversary, would you?
Randy, would you like to go on a picnic with me?
Randy.
We're so proud of you Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat, Randy.
Eat Randy.
Eat Randy.
Eat Randy.
Eat Randy.
Eat Randy.

[Chorus]
I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.

I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.
I'd rather eat Randy, Randy, Randy.