Well we just left the courthouse this morning

And the judge said we could go our seperate ways

And everything we own must be divided just like the separation papers say

You can keep the curtains and the tables and the chairs

And all those dirty dishes in the sink

Well you can take that golf club and the television set

And that lawnmower that's always on the blink

You can keep all the records and the hi-fi set

You can take that phoney fireplace and the log

Now you keep the car you keep the boat and I'll take the dog

No I'll take the dog oh no I'm gonna take the dog

Well who's gonna bring me my paper who's gonna keep me company

You'll just have to give him up no I ain't a partin' with the pupp

The dog belongs to me

Now hold on Ray you ain't gonna take this dog away from me

I'm the one that feeds him every day

And who always takes care of him when he's sick

Now wait just a minute Jeannie I guess that you forget

Who it was that always took him to the bed

Paid for all of them shots of seven bucks a lick

You can just forget about him I ain't leaving you without him

Then you'll just have to stay I guess that's the only way okay

I'll give back the curtains and the tables and the chairs

And I'll wash the dirty dishes in the sink

And I won't take the golf clubs and the television set

And I'll fix that mower that's always on the blink

We'll both listen to the records on the hi-fi set

By the fireplace with this gas burnin' log

We'll go ridin' in our car and we'll go sailin' in our boat

And we'll both take the dog yes we'll both take the dog

Come on baby (huff huff)