"J  do you have a Halloween story for the class?"

 (Violent J)
 "Y y yeah  um  there was this boy  and he lived in his house
 and he went to bed one day  and then when he woke up  um
 when he woke up  he was buried up to his head in the dirt
 and he couldn't move  and this man came walking along
 but instead of the man helping him out  the man just started
 kicking him and kicking him in his face, over and over,
 and then he got the lawnmower, and then he....."

 Dick or treat, bon appetit
 All the little kiddies running down my street
 Gathering candy treats door to door
 But they walk past mine, what for?
 Probably 'cuz the pumpkins on my porch are real
 Real human heads carved out with steel
 Cut out the eyes, man, it takes but a minute
 Rip out the b-b-b-b-brains and put a candle in it
 Maybe they run 'cuz I take 'em inside
 Come and meet Mother, two years ago she died
 Little boys laugh, 'cuz they think it's just a dummy
 But then the smell hits 'em, MMMMM..... smells yummy
 Open your bags and I'll give you my treat
 Crusty yellow toes off a dead woman's feet
 Take me by the hand, and I'll lead you downstairs
 And that, little chickies, is where you'll spend the next seven years
 Starving and weakening, chained to a wall
 Staring at a roach, hoping it will crawl
 Into your mouth for a tasty cuisine
 Yes, my little friends, it's a Dead Pumpkins Halloween

 (Shaggy 2 Dope)
 "Awwwwwwwwww, yeah, it's that special time of year, boys and girls,
 so come to the pumpkin patch and bring your pantysacks so I can shit in it,
 you beeeeeyitch!!!!!"

 (Violent J)
 Well, I love all the kiddies, but I can't fuck around
 Don't come to my door dressed as a clown


 'Cuz you never know, I might take it the wrong way
 'Cuz I'm the real wicked juggalokaro Violent J
 All year 'round, but I love my Halloween
 You'll never get an apple or a purple jelly bean
 Dropping some chocolates, a licorice snack
 Instead you get a deep-fried French poodle nutsack
 Peeking out my door, I see no children in sight
 Perhaps they're all dead, yesterday was Devil's Night
 They burn down the city and they leave it crispy-charred
 I light myself on fire and I dance around my backyard
 Hungry bellies, I can see where you're at
 Sitting on my window, I can turn into a bat
 Watching you remove all your little clothesies for bed
 I crash through the window and land on your head
 Drinking the blood, blood is gone to the bone
 But now, I must leave, Mother's calling me home
 Up to the moonlight, I'm gone from the scene
 Peace to Detroit City and have a Dead Pumpkins Halloween

 (Shaggy 2 Dope)
 "Yeeeeeeeeah, I'm gonna smash your little candy bags,
 only I'm gonna tie 'em around your muthafuckin' necks
 and choke you with 'em Wicked Clown style, muthafucka!!!!!"

 (Violent J)
 "Detroit's in this bitch!!