In the kingdom of the blind 
They say the one-eyed man is king 
And in the kingdom of the bland 
It's nine o' clock on ITV 
I believe I've seen holograms 
With more substance than you 
Automatic doors 
Don't open for you 

c-o-r-g-i 
Corgi registered friends 
c-o-r-g-i 
Corgi registered friends 
Beat up on a Monday with your 
Corgi registered friends 

You call Glastonbury "Glasto" 
You'd like to go there one day 
When they put up the gun towers 
To keep the hippies away 
December sees Kitzbuhel 
Clad in low alpine 
Your kids are painfully soulless 
? Rides Norton 

c-o-r-g-i 
Corgi registered friends 
c-o-r-g-i 
Corgi registered friends 
Delboy impressions with your 
Corgi registered friends 

For sale: gym equipment 
But now your jeans are too tight 
Amanda Burton on autopilot 
It's all you need each night 
I wear a tolerance robe 
I have the patience of Job 
But when I hear your wife's silly giggling 
At Ann Summers' party 

c-o-r-g-i 
corgi registered friends 
c-o-r-g-i 
corgi registered friends
You go to medieval banquets with your 
corgi registered friends 

Stick this in your Volvo (8x)