(feat. Fall Out Boy)



See there was Ashley,

She caught my eyes the very second that she passed me

I kissed her once

Then she started to harrass me

She called all night long

I had to buy a brand new phone.



And let me see

There was Mellony

To have a mouth like that should be a felony

Wouldn't believe half the shit that she was tellin me

I mean dirty vocab

She used to talk like she was drunk.



And after that there was Tiffany

The one with the cute cousin

Are you kiddin' me?

She had a man

But that didn't mean shit to me

He tried to catch us all the time

But I was just to Goddamn smooth.



And I can't forget to mention Carrie

But that situation quickly got scary

Cuz after 2 days she's like "let's get married"

Can you believe that shit?

I had to pack my bags and move.



(1, 2, 3, 4!)



Where is your boy tonight?

I hope he is a gentleman.

Where is your boy tonight?

Maybe he won't find out.



Where is your boy tonight?

I hope he is a gentleman.

Where is your boy tonight?

Maybe he won't find out...



I'll always remember Monica,

The Jewish chick

She'd always give me gifts for Chanukkah

To met her folks she'd try and make me rock a yamaka

But she looked so damn good

She almost made my ass convert



And after that there was Lisa

She had a twin sister, Teresa

I bumped into them at Cam's gettin pizza

The greatest night of my life

Schleps to rock that kill to birds



Remember Erica,

She had the stinkiest breath in North America, (I know)

I tried to slip her tic tacs

But they were scared of her

And when we made out

I always had to plug my nose



And I supose your know your sister

Shoot, I swear by hand and God

I only kissed her

I gotta foot fetish

But she gotta lota blisters

I mean hammer time feet

You think she had dead bugs for toes



Where is your boy tonight?

I hope he is a gentleman.

Where is your boy tonight?

Maybe he won't find out.



Where is your boy tonight?

I hope he is a gentleman.

Where is your boy tonight?

Maybe he won't find out.



Remember Catherine?

She talked so much

I used to make her bring me aspirin

Blah, blah, blah, blah

I'm doin' fine thanks for askin'

I even tried to make a muzzle

But her mouth would just not quit.



And Oh Shit,

Remember Shuana.

I hate to bring her up again,

I didn't want her.

That girl I talked about

In "That's A Girl's Dog" song

Yeah, the poster girl from Pac Sun

Almost made me lose my grip.



And oh shit,

then there was Krystal.

The meth head

She used to sniff like a fist full.

One time she chased me down the street with a pistol.

She tried to say I took her stash,

She bugged out and tryed to kill my ass.



And at last we got Kimmy,

She went abroad

Came back,

And broke up with me

And so I ripped up all them letters that she sent me.

I cried for like 3 days,

Then it was back to my evil ways.



Where is your boy tonight?

I hope he is a gentleman.

Where is your boy tonight?

Maybe he won't find out.



Where is your boy tonight?

I hope he is a gentleman.

Where is your boy tonight?

Maybe he won't find out.