The Auctioneer
Gordon Lightfoot

Hey well all right sir, open the gate and let 'em out and walk 'em boys
Here we come and let in number twenty-nine, what are you gonna give for the little fella
I want a five dollar want a bid, would you bid it on a five on a five on a five
Will you bid it on a twenty-five
Got a twenty-five dollar would you bid it on five on the five
Will you bid it on a thirty dollar five on five
Will you bid it on a five, will you bid it on a thirty-five

Well there was a boy from Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he should go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon and take a walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
He'd stand and listen carefully until at last he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said "Oh my, it's do or die, I've got to learn that auction cry
Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer"

Twenty-five dollar bid you now thirty dollar thirty
Will you make it thirty, bid it on a thirty dollar thirty dollar
Will you give me thirty, will you give me thirty dollar bill
I got a thirty dollar bid you now
Five will you beat it on a thirty-five, bid it on thirty-five, thirty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a thirty-five dollar bill

Well the time went by and he did his best and all could see he did not jest
He practiced calling bids both night and day
Til his pappy found him behind the barn just working up an awful storm
As he tried to imitate the auctioneer
His pop said "Son we just can't stand to have a mediocre man
Selling things at auction using our good name
Gonna send you off to auction school and then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best"

Thirty-five dollar bid you now forty dollar forty
Will you make it forty, bid it on a forty dollar forty dollar
Will you give me forty, will you give me forty dollar bill
I got a forty dollar bid you now
Five will you beat it on a forty-five, bid it on forty-five, forty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a forty-five dollar bill

And from that boy that went to school there grew a man who played it cool
He come back home a full fledged auctioneer
And the people would come from miles around
Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
And his fame spread out from shore to shore
He'd all that he could do and more
He had to buy a plane to get around
Well now he's the best in all the land, let's pause and give that man a hand
'Cause he's the best of all the auctioneers

Forty-five dollar bid you now fifty dollar fifty
Will you make it fifty, bid it on a fifty dollar fifty dollar
Will you give me fifty, will you give me fifty dollar bill
I got a fifty dollar bid you now
Five will you beat it on a fifty-five, bid it on fifty-five, fifty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a fifty-five dollar bill
Well I sold that hog for a fifty dollar bill