I'm gonna make you sweat
The way a pig sweats on a hot day
'Cos I'm feeling real sexy baby
Real Sexy, oohh yeah!
That's right, I'm gonna put me a sexy video on
I'm gonna massage some oil into my body baby
'Cos I'm gonna get tight with you
Yeah.

I wanna take you to Mcdonalds with a candle
Girl, it's my love you can't handle
I see you walking on the way home from work
Your Tesco tunic really drives me berserk
I'm for real - it ain't no quirk
My love is lurking the way a rapist would lurk
In a bush, or a car park in town
I bought you this necklace
It cost me 12 pounds
From Argos, Elizabeth Duke
Maybe you're the skywalker to my luke
The Darth to the Vader
Flip Over the Crossfader
I'll serenade you with a bag of space raiders
Or walkers or smiths or maybe even quavers
'Cos my love for you is like drugs for ravers
With glowsticks and funny hats on
I loves you more than I loves my bong

(Fantasy!)

You and me baby
....baby

Oh you fucking knows I love you right
But the thing is it's like this
You see, I can feel it inside
I can't explain how it feels
My sexual love is for real
Girl you knows it's true, like Milli Vanilli
I'll buy you ten fags on a daytrip to Caerphilly
I'm after your heart, Oh don't you see
And your three kids doesn't bother me
You Know....

I'll give you a rose, pull out your chair when we eat
Fuck I can't, 'cos In McDonalds it's a bolted seat
Don't matter 'cos I'm here with you
With a medium value meal and a chocolate sundae too
Later on I'll come and help you sign on
I'll stare into your eyes, the housing benefits gone wrong
Don't worry baby it won't take too long
I'm just sitting, I'm just waiting, I'm just writing this song
You know that, time passes and I'm loving every second
Buying chips for you is as lovely as I reckoned
You're Victoria Spice, I'm David Beckham
If you were Dellboy, I'd be the streets of Peckham
Why don't you come to me, why can't you see
My love for you is like Matt Bolan to a tree

(Dance with me!)

You and me baby
....baby
Tonight

I'll take you for a ride, we won't go far
You've been running through my mind like a shining star
We've got plenty of time to make sweet love
'cos tonight's the night we take off the glove
You know what I mean, you're taking the pill
Don't worry - I'll sort out the bill
Supported by the DHSS
With family allowance, We'll sort out the mess
What's it gonna take, to get your attention
A tracksuit and gold chain and semi-erection
Say no more, I can feel a tear
You can smokes my fags and drinks my beer

I'll never want another like I want you
To prove my love, I gotta tattoo - on my bollocks
I was gonna have your name
But I only got initials
'cos I couldn't stand the pain

(My physical love!)

You and me baby
....baby
Tonight

(The emotional reality!)

You're the nicest looking woman outside of my sexmags
Especially with your makeup, when your wearing your gladrags
I gotta tell you, I gotta let you know
I wanna buy you trips down the mecca bingo
We'll sit together, get four in a row
And win a china dog and with it too a family show
This is romance, how it should be done
When it's you and me together, it can only spell fun
We'll walk together, buy some meat in the market
I'll piss on the car, you'll smile and park it
I've got to tell you about something I think
Without you and my chain I'm the weakest link
So get down baby and feel my love
I'll get you drunk in Weatherspoons, Into a bush I shove
I'll have a grope and get the last bus
A romantic date, just the two of us

Yeah, one time

You and me baby
....baby
Tonight

(Electrical Love!)

You and me baby
....baby
Tonight

I'm feeling kind of
Kind of sexy baby
What say you put on that exercise video
And I'll watch you sweat
Oh yeah!
That damn video with Felicity Kendal
Damn you can....
And your making me feel kinda
Itchy!
I'm gonna go put the mask and gloves on
Oh yeah
Take em off baby
Just take them
Fuck the music baby
Take them Off
Just, take them off
Just, oh freak this shit man
Turn the fucking tape off man