On The Radio
Big up to anyone who's been involved in care & community
'Cos it's the GLC back again
With another rave anthem for you to feast on, ya bastards
I nick stereos, videos and TVs
But when I'm feeling nice I helps cats out of trees
I'm really nice but you don't know that
Because I'll beat you up, cos you look like a tw@t
Nicked a car in the day, driving real fast
Went out to Risca for a quick fcuking blast
When I've finished my run, it's back home for buns
With my mum and her mates, watching re-runs
By day I sells draw with my mates you see
But at night I likes to watch romantic comedy
I likes to watch Friends and Cheers and Frasier
But during the day I might cut you with a razor
You know I likes hip-hop, you know there's no stopping
But I gotta go, to take my nan out shopping
During the day, I gotta clean the house
But you knows I can sort you out with an ounce
If you see me in town, it's drug money I'm exchanging
But when I'm at home, I'm mainly flower arranging
I likes the yellow daisies and the red roses too
But when I've finished that, it's back to sniffing glue
I watch TV in bed, it really is perfection
Then I w@nks over my stamp collection
'Cos that's what I does when I gets home
'Cos the Queen's fcuking head gives me a big fcuking bone
You might be hard, even harder than me
But I bet you can't look after a fcuking Bonsai tree
Had a fight with some kids, and we kicked their as$
Then I took my kid sister to a ballet class
Every beating I does
No matter how hard it is, no matter how many people I wreck up
I always cleans up the blood off my hands and trackie afterwards, innit
Here we go, Benny Blanco
I lives up my nan's, I told you all before
She's not very rich, in fact she's fcuking poor
Not 'cos she blew it on fags and a blow
But she's addicted to fcuking Bingo
I takes her there every Tuesday night
Then it's off to Voodoo's for a fight
I picks her up around half-past four
And then we goes home and smokes a draw
My nan's wicked, she likes toking blow
Sometimes we watches the Antiques Roadshow
I nick stereos, videos and TVs
But that's what you do when you're in the GLC
During the day I do the shopping for my mum down at Spar
Just so I can borrow my dad's fcuking car
When I goes out, I does a Ritzy's run
And when I gets home, I cutches my mum
Sometimes I go shopping in Matalan's
If the day's nice, I'll take both my nan's
I push 'em round in a wonky old trolley
Then I start to hit 'em with a brolly
'Cos you see I'm not nice all the time
But when I smokes a mix I feels quite fine
On Saturday night I goes fighting in Cwmbran
Then on Sundays I help my mum make some jam
At 6, I goes out for a drink and a fag
By 8, I'm horned-up and I'm up for a shag
By 10, I'm wrecked up and I pukes on my jeans
At 12, I goes home to use the washing machine
Yeah you knows it, it's the fcuking GLC,
Benny Blanco, fcuking Adam Hussein, you knows it,
Fcuking Mike Balls, Raphael, innit
I nick stereos, videos and TVs
My name is Mike Balls and I'm like a disease
I'll fcuk up your insides and bring you down to your knees
But when I threaten you with violence, I say thank you and please
Who's that man in the window pane
He's looking really fcuking crazy, I think it's Adam Hussein
He beat up loads of kids on their way home last night,
Cooked up some dinner and was really alright
I think he's not bad in his own kind of way
But if he doesn't like your face he'll beat you up 'cos you're gay
I nick stereos, videos and TVs
I love being a Clart, it's great to be me
Get with us, be one of the GLC
'Cos you knows it's us that you wanna be
Our crew is growing nearly every fcuking day
So get with us and don't be a fcuking gay
I stack shelves at night, help my gran pay the bills
But I gotta make sure that she takes the right pills
Myra Hindley and Ian Brady,
Those two have got nothing on my old lady
She's quite hard and she'll kick me in
So I've gotta clean up the rubbish and put out the bin
I got caught with the drugs, so now I'm in rehab
And now I'm thinking of my nan in a prefab
My name is Mike Balls and it's true what they say
I'm the hardest man in soccer violence around this way
I beat 50 people up, I'm just fcuking insane
I only visit my nan so she can polish my chain
She gives me a tenner to get her the draw
I don't know why she does 'cos I know she can score
She goes into Ringland to a guy named Del
And on Pension day she buys some fcuking Speed as well
...Took my gran shopping on Monday,
Took my gran shopping on Tuesday,
Took my gran shopping on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Chilled on Sunday [repeats]