Early Sunday morning at a quarter past 4

Wayne-O cruises 'round by the liquor store

Taking pictures of the winos when they fall out the door

Send them to the mayor and begin the war

Wayne-O, you're the hero of the town!


Every Sunday morning at a quarter to 9

Richie Dick is picking up nickels and dimes

On the sidewalk, the junior scouts stand in a line

While their leader gives a lecture on how to fight crime

Dick, you've got to kick out all the shines!


Every Sunday evening at a quarter to 10

Gumper sniffs a whiff of General Tso's Chicken

"Ooo, those gooks across the street, well they're at it again!"

"I'm gonna firebomb that neon sign as soon as I can!"

Gumper, Bible-thumper 'til the end!