Let's stay at home instead
I just want to play with you all day
Good loving gives me a thrill
But it don't pay the bills
Somehow true love will find a way.

CHORUS:
Gonna get a grant!  Gonna get a grant!
Gonna get a grant to be in love
We'll philander for philanthropy
Doing what comes naturally
Let's get a grant for love!

Yum yum, we sure can cook
It's time we wrote the book
The whole world needs our recipe
We'll cuddle without a care
In our own endowed chair
In applied anthropology

BRIDGE:
Won't need no advanced degrees
We'll show 'em how we hug and sqeeze
Kisses so delectable
They've got to be tax-deductible.

CHORUS

From Berkeley to M.I.T.
We'll be our favorite charity
Donating our bodies to research
We'll hit the best resorts
Sending quarterly reports
Graphing every lesson we have learned.

BRIDGE:
Your methods drive me mad
I want to fund you so bad
And when our passion's sated
We can be evaluated!

CHORUS