The Beatles
Also recorded by: 
John Bayless; Boreades; Canadian Brass; Dark One Lite;
Devil's Rubato Band; Vince Dicola; Ed Harlow; Frankie 
Laine;
London Pops Orch.; Steve Martin; Royal Philharmonic 
Orch.;
Dick Schory; Mike Westbrook; Jack Wild.
Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
science in her home
late nights all alone with a test tube oh oh oh oh
Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine
calls her on the phone
can I take you out to the pictures Joan
but as she's getting ready to go
a knock comes on her door
chorus
Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her 
head
bang bang maxwells silver hammer made sure that she was 
dead
Back at school again, Maxwell plays the fool again
teacher gets annoyed
wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
she tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
so he waits behind
writing 50 times I must not be so oh oh oh
but when she turns her back on the boy
he creeps up from behind
chorus
PC 31, said we caught a dirty one
Maxwell stands alone
painting testimonial pictures oh oh oh oh
Rose and Valerie, sreaming from the gallery
say he must go free {Maxwell must go free}
the judge does not agree and he tells them so oh oh oh
but as the words are leaving his lips
a noise comes from behind
chorus {with he, substituted for her}