(Frank Zappa and Jeff Simmons)

L.A. in the summer of '69
I went downtown and bought me some wine
Oh, I drank it down under the table
I said: "Watch me now, I'm gonna eat the label!"
Well I'm a wino man
Don't you know I am?

36, 24, hips about 30
I seen a fine lady and I started talkin' dirty
Boy, she looked over at me and she raised the thumb
She said: "Jam down the road, you fun-ba-bum-bum"
I'm a wino man
Don't you know I am?

I went to the country
And while I was gone
I lost control of my body functions
On a roller-headed lady's front lawn
I'm so ashamed, but I'm a wino man
I can't help myself

I've been drinkin' all night till my eyes got red
Stumbled on the gutter and busted my head
Bugs in my zoot suit, been scratchin' like a dog
I can't stand no water, and I stink like a hog
Give me a five dollar bill
And an overcoat too
Give me a five dollar bill
And an overcoat too
A five dollar bill and an overcoat too
A five dollar bill and a Florsheim shoe