Two men sit in the corner of a diner 

Both of them look quite a bit like Carl Reiner 

One of them is smoking even though the sign says not to 

The waitress says to stop, he says sorry but I've got to 

They tell each other jokes that they both know that they both know 

They talk about real estate, prostates, Costco 

And when they finish up they leave a twenty on the table 

The waitress picks it up with their half-eaten bagels 

And when her shift is over she goes back to Mineola 

Sits on the couch, opens up a diet cola and says 



I'm so, I'm so sick of this place I'm so ready for a change of pace 

I'm just looking for a new routine 

So she spins her globe and the next thing you know 

She's living in Liechtenstein 



She doesn't speak German, only high school Spanish 

But within a few weeks she discovers she can manage 

But there's not much going on except for banking and skiing 

So she breaks up with the man that she just started seeing 

He drops her at the airport in a diesel Mercedes 

Thinks to himself I'm so feeble with the ladies and I 



I'm so, I'm so sick of this place 

I'm so ready for a change of pace 

I'm just looking for a new routine 

So he grabs his cap 

Throws a dart at a map

And now he's living in Bowling Green 



He talks his way into 

A job at La Quinta 

Falls for the manager 

Who's moving back to Canada 

She's tried Roanoke, Reykjavik, Rome 

Says you're really sweet but I just want to go home 



Two men sit in the corner of a diner 

One of them says I might take a trip to China 

It's one of those things we should do before we're too old 

Thanks but no thanks, bring me back an egg roll 

Bring it back