You can blame me,
Try to shame me,
And still I'll care for you,
You can run around,
Even put me down,
Still I'll be there for you.

So it's Saturday and I'd rather be chillin'
But you wanna-take me with you to Karen Millen
To buy a new dress cos we're goin for dinner
But none of yours fit cos you used to be slimmer
Or fatter or somethin', I don't know anymore
But your stood at the door and your huffing and puffing
There's no way in hell that you're bluffing
Me, you and shopping aint up for discussion
Now call me a pessimist but I've looked in your wardrobe
And trust me there just aint one dress-I-missed
Know for a fact what your cupboard possesses
So why do you need 20 little black dresses?
Compliments are like rolling a dice
Some advice be precise when you say she looks nice:
"You don't need no help from Suzannah and Trinny,
You're tanned and you're skinny, What more do you want! ?"

You can play me (Got me wrapped round you finger)
Try to shame me (Still I stand here and linger)
And still I'll care for you (Cos you're fit not a minger, I sit like a dog whilst I'm stuck on your leash)
You can run around (All erratic and fiery)
Even put me down (Spend a week in the priory)
Still I'll be there for you (I will, I will, I will, I will, love but you're clearly a loon)

We get back to your flat when you crack and you give me a slap
Cos I don't wipe my feet on the mat
And for some stupid reason it