I believe that gas is too damn high
And there ain't nothing more American than Mama's apple pie
I believe in love, I believe in peace
But I don't believe we'll ever see it in that Middle East
I believe the Bible is cold, hard fact
And I believe that Jesus is coming back before she does

I believe the Sabbath is a day of rest
The taxman and the Devil share the same address
I believe don't start if you're gonna quit
I believe in keep your mouth shut and carry a big stick
I believe that dogs are better than cats
And I believe that Jesus is coming back before she does

There's absolutely, positively no doubt in my mind
That OJ did it, Lee Harvey didn't
And she's really gone this time

I believe that cold, cold beer
Tastes better on a bar stool than it does anywhere
I believe hard work really makes the man
But everyone should wet a line, every now and then
I believe it's best to pay in cash
And I believe that Jesus is coming back before she does

There's absolutely, positively no doubt in my mind
That OJ did it, Lee Harvey didn't
And she's really gone this time

I believe she was a real good thing
Can you believe I let a girl like her get away?
I believe she meant it the night she packed
And said Jesus is coming back before she does

Before she does
Before she does