Miss Lucy had some leeches 

Her leeches liked to suck 

And when they drank up all her blood 

She didn't give a 

Funny when the doctors 

Had locked her in her cell 

Miss Lucy screamed all night that they 

Should go to bloody 

Hello to the surgeon 

With scalpel old and blunt 

He'll tie you to the table 

Then he'll mutilate your 

Come it's nearly teatime 

The lunatics arrive 

The keepers bleed them all until 

There's no one left a 

Lively little rodents 

Are eaten up by cats 

We're subject to experiments 

Like laboratory 

Rats I've dropped a teacup 

How easily they break 

I'm on my hands and knees until 

I pay for my mis- 

Take off all your clothing 

We've only just begun 

We have no anesthesia 

It's eighteen forty 

One thing we should tell you 

Before you try again 

The tests are invented by 

A lot of filthy 

Mentally hysteric 

She's failed the exam 

Don't bother telling Lucy for 

She doesn't give a 

Damn that nitrous oxide 

For when you can't escape 

They say the surgeons oft commit 

A murder or a 

Razor blades are rusty 

And not a lot of fun 

So when they try to amputate 

Your legs you'd better 

Run and fetch the chemist 

A patient's feeling sad 

She's been in chains for ages 

And she isn't even 

Madness is a nuisance 

And no one is immune 

Your sister, mum or daughter 

May become a raving 

Lunatics are dangerous 

And doctors are obeyed 

They also go together just 

Like toast and marma- 

Ladies are like children 

With brains the size of squirrels 

Let's give a clitoridectomies 

To all the little 

Girls are helpless treasures 

That daddies must protect 

So lie upon the table 

For the doctors to in- 

speculums are super 

And stirrups all the rage 

So spread a lady's legs and then put her 

Back in to her 

Cage of naked crazies 

The surgeon's here to bleed 

The doctors are all learned men 

And some can even 

Reading can be risky 

For women on the verge 

It only did us worlds of good 

To poison, leech and 

Purging is a penance 

Phlebotomy's a chore 

No need to sterilize the tools 

We never did be- 

Fore the night is over 

Before you go to bed 

They'll take a hammer and a nail 

And jam it in your 

Headstones in the courtyard 

And statues in the park 

Are not for the insane 

Just leave them rotting in the 

D A R K 

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