I think I'm about to go off

Max Weinberg kicks the show off

Wit, charm and a devious smile

We're gonna be here for a while tonight



He is the only guy we turn to

For our celebrity interviews

Red hair that's never going anywhere

All I can do is sit and stare

Don't bother me cause I don't care tonight



Oh, Conan can't you see

You're the one for me?

Conan, don't you know

You're my late night TV hero?



I wish and hope and pray he might

Let me be a guest on the show tonight

Talking about anything and everything

Oh, golly how I want to be 

A part of his hilarity tonight



And I don't mean to sound like a jerk

But you're the only show that still redeems your network



Oh, Conan can't you see

We were meant to be?

Conan, don't you know

You will always be my hero?