You've been flirting like crazy
Since I walked in through the door
You were so damned obvious
I almost licked the floor
And though you're not attractive
There is still something that appeals
Like a baby seal with it's head caved in
Or eating jellied eels
Please don't turn away now
You know exactly who you are
Is it that you smell the scent
Of a minor megastar?
Now's your chance, let's not dance
Let's really get it on

And touch me, you fool (Touch him, you fool)
Come on and touch me, you fool, (Touch him, you fool)
I know you're shy
Forget that guy
And touch me

You play fair, you're Mayfair
Your hotel's on Park Lane
Your waterworks are wonderful
Oh how can I explain
That to me you're more than cute
You're no Trivial Pursuit
You're the one I'd go to jail for
The one that I'd post bail for
I won't pass Go if you say no
Give me the chance to play or

Kiss me, you fool (Kiss him, you fool)
Come on and kiss me, you fool (Kiss him, you fool)
You're not stupid
Just kiss me, stupid
Kiss me

For you I'd scale the Ganges
I'd swim the Pyrenees
I'd wade through vats of leeches
In the nude just as a tease
I'd open up my heart for you
And various other things
Your eyes are moist inviting
Your lips part so exciting
Come on let's play, don't run away
I need you so, it's frightening

Feel me, you fool (Feel him you fool)
Fulfil me, you fool (Fill, him you fool)
Oh, it would be bliss
Get a grip on this
And feel me

Come on and feel me, touch me
Please me, tease me
Pump me, lump me, hump me, jump me
Root me, poot me, hoot me, scoot me
Hurt me, squirt me, belch me, felch me, whip me...
JUST FUCK ME!