We should all go back to church cos they've hit the market place
They're getting fashionable ideas from back issues of "The Face"
They've bought part shares in the pill, porn videos and guns, guns, guns!
Old concepts are boringn the designer mass is fun
They've changed the local parishes into saunas, gyms and spas
The Eucharist and the Convenant is now a mini-bar
They've bought a New York decorator to turn cherubs into fairies
The body and the blood to caviar and Bloody Marys
While the font is a jacuzzi and holy water's Perrier
'Cos the Vatican has found a way to make religion pay
If you've soiled your conviction, sold your soul
All you need is absolution, get some good rock n roll

Let my people go, go, go to church - listen to the preacher
Go to church - he'll teach you more than Friedrich Nietzsche
Go to church - where you can let your hair hang down, down, down
No need to be embarrassed 'cos there's no one else around

The parish priests are trying to make lay-people of your daughters
Installing water beds as their sacrificial altars
Parents are concerned but nothing could be safer
'Cos your girl won't get pregnant if she's chewing on that wafer
And while I'm on the topic, did I forget to mention
That Brother Joe rides piggyback with dubious intentions?
And Amy Grant's has songs that have you coming in your socks
While pre-pubescent school boys try to pillage her poor-box
The flying nun with see through frocks and sexy lingerie
Now they've turned the sacred sacrament into a cabaret

Let my people go, go, go to church - that's what my mother used to say
Go to church - or you will rue the day
Go to church - where you can go and see all the pretty people
If you've never been before it's the building with the steeple

The mass was best in Latin, they never should have banned it
It doesn't make sense now that we can understand it
Socer uno servo fetum, Lefevre's not a faggot
But if he don't take care he'll get laid, he'll get laid
He'll get laid off like Jimmy Swaggert
Admission is free if you're certain of your fate
If not I recommend some big cash on the plate
Or get a damn good lawyer to change the ref's decision
Cos I'm stuck with going to church like I'm stuck with circumcision

Let my people go, go, go to church - cause you may find favor
Go to church - lift your arms to the savior
Go to church - it's getting warm and I can hear that final bell
You'd better move your feet there's no fire escape in Hell
Come on all you sexually impotent, drunken, drug-pushing scumbags...
Go to church!