Loudly let the trumpets bray,
Tum tum turrah! Tum tum turrah!
Loudly bang the sounding brasses

Shall we walk hand in hand through the park?
We'll whisper sweet nothings and love sonnets by the Bard
It's a love I know will always last
If we walk hand in hand through the park

Shall we stroll along the promenade?
I shall buy you icecream treats and shield you from the sun
My heart beats louder than Venus did for Mars
Shall we stroll along the promenade?

Will you staple gun my genitals to the wall?
I wouldn't normally beg but I've been a trifle tense
We could both have a ball
If you staple gun my genitals to the wall