I just wrote this song to get laid
Because before I played punk, no one paid attention to me-eee
And what's the point in playing music if it doesn't get you chicks
And remember the vaguer the lyrics, the bigger the audience
Girls will love this song because I sound like I am what they want
Guys will love this shit coz they can play for girls they wanna sleep with
Your eyes are like the stars, or the moon, or running water
Or whatever will get you in my bed later
And maybe I'm at my best when you are with me
So let me get your number
I'm so interesting indeed
I let my hair grow out and my clothes are gross as shit
But I am not a burnout I'm just hippie vintage
Covered my body in really cool tattoos
So I'll never have a good job, but now I can sleep with you
And on your bedroom floor I wanna see my band's t-shirt
And I'll smile to myself because you should've known! 
That musicians are perverts
Musicians are perverts
Musicians are just fucking perverts
If you wanna be an artist, don't be too brutally honest
Coz we all just wanna hear a love song, even if it's bullshit
If you want the big gigs and to sleep with lots of women
All you've got to do is change your self image
Now I'm looking in the mirror telling myself
Don't be yourself
Don't be yourself
Don't be yourself
Don't be yourself
Don't be yourself
Don't be yourself
Don't be yourself
Don't be yourself, don't be yourself