Well, honey, I've seen worse
 We're going to turn this sow's ear
 Into a silk purse

 We'll have you
 Washed and dried
 Primped and polished till you glow with pride
 Trust my recipe for instant bride
 You'll bring honor to us all

 Wait and see
 When we're through
 Boys will gladly go to war for you
 With good fortune
 And a great hairdo
 You'll bring honor to us all

 A girl can bring her family
 Great honor in one way
 By striking a good match
 And this could be the day

 Men want girls
 With good taste
 Calm
 Obedient
 Who work fast-paced
 With good breeding
 And a tiny waist
 You'll bring honor to us all

 We all must serve out Emperor
 Who guards us from the Huns
 A man by bearing arms
 A girl by bearing sons

 When we're through
 You can't fail
 Like a lotus blossom soft and pale
 How could any fellow say "No sale"
 You'll bring honor to us all

 There - you're ready
 Not yet
 An apple for serenity...
 A pendant for balance...

 Beads of jade for beauty
 You must proudly show it
 Now add a cricket just for luck
 And even you can't blow it

 Ancestors
 Hear my plea
 Help me not to make a fool of me
 And to not uproot my fam'ly tree
 Keep my father standing tall

 Scarier than the undertaker
 We are meeting our matchmaker

 Destiny
 Guard our girls
 And our future as it fast unfurls
 Please look kindly on these cultured pearls
 Each a perfect porcelain doll

 Please bring honor to us
 Please bring honor to us
 Please bring honor to us
 Please bring honor to us
 Please bring honor to us all