His girlfriend's at wit's end, but they want to try 
again
He's tried to ask how do they make some breakup mutual
It's not like they could write a note then climb on a 
bike,
Ride into the wide blue and forget what they've been 
through

She's a bitch and he's a dick
She makes him sick, he makes her frantic
So faking like they'll ride into the sunset's not 
romantic

So what should they do?
Could they just shut up?
They've withstood barbs, lances, sharp glances
Still go to shrinks, not dances

It's not my fault that I think suicide's a far cry from 
useless
Confucius would say "fuck this," chalk deuces

She thinks their relationship could use an injection of 
commitment
So how 'bout brains on pavement?
Permanent's an understatement

So how do I go through this shit?
No, I'm not used to fights, bashes, wounds, gashes
Heartbreak, attacks, rematches

Not to say I'm OK
I've shown my share of contained enragement
Adjacent to their tear-filled complacence

I think they should take some time to be apart, 
reflect, rewind
But that's no option when they both say that they're 
fine

Fuck this, I'm not taking it
This song's devoted to commitment
We're sick of all the whining, no one cares, no one can 
stand it
An automatic rifle in their mouth's the best 
prescription
We're all so glad we've come to such an eloquent 
decision

So thank you, your undue attention's helped me see who 
I care for:
Myself more than them
Just try to ignore my portents
Important life lessons aren't absorbent, like towels or 
bowels

I'm too drunk to form vowels