When I was in my teenage years, I did just what I should

I listened to my mother and I was kind and sweet and good

And my friends and I did rituals and I prayed with all my might

That this would be the evening that she'd stop along her flight

Well, that was several years ago and that chick's long overdue

And it's time I came to terms with something plainly clear to you.



The boob fairy never came for me

No, the boob fairy never came for me

Okay, I'm spunky and I'm cute and I've got a great personality

But the boob fairy never came for me



Well, we were the third house on a country drive, I thought

Maybe she just got lost, so I hung my bra on the mailbox

Til the neighbors took it off

And all my friends got visits and expanded through the years

And left me wailing to the gods buying training bras at Sears

Still I harbor hopes, she'll come for me, I know she will

I'd get 'em done myself if she'd agree to fit the bill



The boob fairy never came for me

No the boob fairy never came for me

Look, I wasn't wanting melons, just a cute curvaceous "B"

But the boob fairy never came for me.



This isn't a song about boobs. Not really.  The boobs are just a set of metaphors to symbolize everyone's fear of human inadequacy.  Hey! We've all felt the pain of being dissed by one fairy or another, so during the next refrain I want you to join in with your own fairy that never paid a call. Maybe it's the height fairy or the butt nymph.  Men, maybe it's the pectoral or hair fairy or maybe some other fairy you just want to mumble about.  Look, nobody's going to ask you to enunciate.   And sisters, I don't want you feeling alienated because you happen to be full-figured.  Just change the line to the boob fairy wouldn't let me be or the boob fairy became obsessed with me.  Okay, here comes the refrain.  Everybody join in.



The boob fairy never came for me

No the boob fairy never came for me

Though the hip fairy came two times

and the thigh fairy came three

The boob fairy never came for me.