Have you heard about the latest craze

That's sweepin' across the nation

All the punks from coast to coast

Have discovered an old invention: 



"Your hair's too long 

Man, you're a queer 

You're too new wave 

Put down that beer:" 

and 

Do the Slag-Look at 'em run 

Do the Slag-Hey you scum 

Do the Slag-Ain't it fun 

Do the Slag-Let's all be dumb 

Badmouth people we don't know

Make sure it's behind their backs

Don't let new people in our scene

It's more fun than having a friend 

We'll slag everyone each and every night

So we can pretend that we're all right

Make those pricks feel just so small

We'll show the world that we're three feet tall 



Slander their integrity

Doubt their humanity

Talk about their haircuts

Are their politics correct? 



Do the Slag! 

Don't let those sissies on the floor

They're unhip, man, they bought the wrong clothes

Let's all do the latest craze

'Cause having allies never pays 

We'll slag everyone each and every night

So we can pretend that we're all right

Make those pricks feel just so small

We'll show the world that we're three feet tall