I drove my saracen through your garden last night
Sing up the RA
I kicked your front door down around at midnight
Sing up the RA
Oh somthing's telling me boy you're avoiding me
And when I find you, you will go for your tea

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of 
kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki 
suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others 
hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your 
land

My good friend Bertie he's in the UDR
Who-ar, Who-ar
Searching for weapons he will go near and far
Who-ar, Who-ar
Up around by Cappagh you'd never find him there
Oh the only gun he'd get there is an armalite in his 
ear

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of 
kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki 
suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others 
hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your 
land

My good friend Trevor he's in the RUC
I see, I see
but now they've handed him his redundancy
I see, I see
The folks along the border won't be seeing him any more
That Provo sniper will be missing him for sure

kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki 
suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others 
hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your 
land

My good friend Nigel he's in the SAS
Oh yes, Oh yes
He said a change is just as good as arrest
Oh yes, Oh yes
But now they've gone and posted him way down to 
Crossmaglen
He wishes to blazes he was back in jail again

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of 
kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki 
suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others 
hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your 
land

My good friend Sammy he's in the DUP
I see, I see
An outstanding member as all the world can see
I see, I see
I can go up to to Donegal if you want to have some fun
He said I'll take a run there if I have nothing on

Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of 
kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket and a lovely khaki 
suit
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others 
hands
We are the British army and we're here to take your 
land