Oh, it happened in Vienna, not so very long ago,
When not too many folks were getting sick
That a starving young physician tried to better his position
By discovering what made his patients tick

Oh, Dr. Freud, oh, Dr. Freud
How I wish that you'd been otherwise employed
For the set of circumstances sure enhances the finances
Of the followers of Dr. Sigmund Freud

He forgot about sclerosis, but invented the psychosis
And a hundred ways that sex could be enjoyed
He adopted as his credo, "Down repression, up libido"
And that was the start of Dr. Sigmund Freud

Now he analyzed the dreams of the teens and libertines
And he substituted monologues for pills
He drew crowds just like Wells Sadler, when along came Jung &
Adler
Who said, "By God, there's gold in them thar ills"

They encountered no resistance when they served as Freud's
Assistants
As with Ego and with Id, they deftly toyed
And instead of toting bedpans, they bore analytic deadpans
Those ambitious doctors, Adler, Jung, and Freud

Now the big three have departed, not so the cult they started
It's been carried on by many a goodly band
And to trauma, shock, and more shock, someone went and added
Rorshach
Now the thing has got completely out of hand

Now old men with double chinseys and a million would be Kinseys
Will discuss it at the drop of a repression
I wouldn't be complaining, but for all the dough I'm paying
To lie on someone's couch and say confession