My stomach turns, my stomach hurts,

when i see you with him.

my cheeks burn red, with jealousy.

my knuckles turn white, with the thought that you might,

be happier with him than with me.


so for now,

the corners of my eyes catch everything

but you give yourself away.

take a glance to see if i am hurt

enough to realize what i am missing,

not missing you.


this is fake and i wish it wasnt.

i want him to make you happy.

for the two of you to go across the ocean, where you belong.

out of site, out of mind. 

am i out of my mind?


so for now,

the corners of my eyes catch everything

but you give yourself away.

take a glance to see if i am hurt

enough to realize what i am missing,

not missing you.


my choices would be easier to make if i knew that you were out of reach.


but i know you, and i know he will never make you laugh harder, think deeper, hug tighter, cuddle warmer, kiss better, or breath faster than me. 

remember that.


so for now,

the corners of my eyes catch everything

but you give yourself away.

take a glance to see if i am hurt

enough to realize what i am missing,

not missing you