Summer again and this world stands still in my heart

Beats bare

Just like sandpaper

It is relief 

From the cold of the air and the still greater chill within

My fate is my face



If I make it through just one more year

Without losing this ever-fading grin

Twitch the corners of my mouth

Sprinting downwards this losing race

Until the leaves return

I hope it still feels the same



When it's gone

When the shadows cease to follow

Will I be a man?

Am I worthy of that label?

But as for now

The greyness of the outside

Just reflects 

It mirrors me alive

no

It hasn't felt the same

These past four fucking years

I know the warming air

Won't truly alight my heart

But it's better to hope for the hopeless

Than for nothing at all



Gives me something to believe in;

If I could see you I'd give you my tears

Gives me something to believe in;

Bottled as if a quaint commodity

Gives me shelter leaves me bleeding;

Something to stop me from sleeping

Every minute of the day

And save me from the atrophy

Faded initials encased in a heart 

Carved into the side of a fallen tree