I'm sitting in a lawn chair by the dirty hotel pool,
with a suitcase full of fireworks sparkling like jewels.
And there's a girl around my neck who won't leave me alone.
Won't someone get me out of here,
or won't someone take her home.
The lobby's full of shipwrecks, drunk conventioneers.
And the mermaid in the lobby tank is swimming in her tears.
And the possum in the swimming pool is looking slighty sick,
and the pellet gunned greasy kid pokes it with a stick.

Well she tied the wicks together,
and she lit them with no shame.
Her face lit up an evil glow,
from the burning school house of flames.
She's the bottle rocket princess, QUeen of La Motor Inn,
with a sparkler in her teeth and a flashlight to her chin.
With a lady finger cap gun and she put on quite a show,
she took off with my room key and came back in my clothes.
But there's sugar in my gas tank and the battery is gone,
and all the stars in the sky are lying on my lawn.

So if anyone can hear me, if anybody cares,
if there's anybody up there who can answer my prayers.
I'll be in the parking lot with the losers and the jerks,
I'll be in the parking lot selling fireworks.

In a Jimmy Carter rubber mask she hollars out 'Hit the dirt,
no one moves a muscle here and nobdoy gets hurt."
Oh say this isn't happening, please tell me I'm not here.
'Cause the President just pinches my ass,
and she whispered in my ear.
All the love up in the heaven won't save me here in hell,
'cause they tied me to the crime scene, from a hair on my lapel.
I look around to try to find someone in here to blame,
while the hangman makes collect calls,
and he's spelling out my name.

Well I'll be down at the fairground with a shovel and a broom,
where the candy floss meets the air
with a cheap teenage perfume.
Where the cheerleaders gather 'round a suspicious silhouette,
where the devils trading souls for duty free cigarettes.
Meanwhile back at the hotel, the band is tearing down.
They're hitching up the horses, and they're sneaking out of town.
And the mini bar is empty, you're covered in tatoos.
So don't look to me my love' cause even god gave up on you.