My dear children, hello. Oh, no no no children, 
everyone must answer please hello before we can start. 
Hello? Well, that is better. Now, if you would all draw 
up your chairs and listen very closely I will tell you 
a most unusual story. The story of the little fiddle. 
As it is told in Symphony number 45, which was written 
by the great Chzekoslovakian composer Andree (gibberish 
name) Junior. Now, this story children is very unusual, 
because it is told not only with words, but also with 
music. But first I want you to meet the symphony 
orchestra. How do you do? 
Shake hands with the trombone 
And the tuba 
And the oboe 
And the saxaphone, sousaphone, zither and xylophone 
Clarinet, buglehorn, fiddle and fuglehorn 
Tinny kazoo and the timpani, too 
And the piccollo, picollo 
Now some of you children may be very surprised to hear 
that the symphony is not only music, but that it always 
tells a story. Which has a beginning, a middle, and an 
end. Except for the unfinished symphony, which has a 
beginning.... As I was saying 
If you listen you will hear 
From the corner of your ear 
How the oboe she makes love to the bassoon 
And the pipe goes diddle, diddle 
And the fiddle's in the middle 
And the dish ran away with the spoon. 
Heh, heh, heh, that's what she did. Well, so. Now we 
tell the story. Which starts with the first movement. 
Presto vivace argomento molto, contabale molto, chocolo 
molto. And we have the first theme which is naturally 
Now this little fiddle is a young girl who lives with 
her wicked guardian, which is a french horn. Now this 
young girl, who is a beautiful girl, and her wicked 
guardian live all alone on a farm. And all she has for 
company are a hen, and a dog, and a nanny goat. Now, 
one day when her wicked guardian, the french horn, is 
upstairs busy washing his coils along came a handsome 
young trumpet. When he clasps his eyes on the little 
fiddle his heart went zing (musical noise). And he gets 
so excited he has a big cadenza, which is a solo 
passage in triple time. 
This brings us to the second movement, when the little 
fiddle is happy, and the trumpet is happy. When 
suddenly, out stalks the french horn. Ehhhhhh, what's 
going on here says the french horn. The little fiddle 
is so putrified her bridge falls out. But the trumpet 
says, we love each other. But the french horn is very 
objectionable to this marriage. And the trumpet blows 
his top, ah shut up! Now I know who you are, you are 
not the french horn at all. That (nice music) had me 
fooled for awhile but the (bad music) gave you away. 
You are a glockenspiel in disguise beyond a doubt 
wanted by the police for drowning twelve little fiddles 
out. The glockenspiel tries to escape to his flat but 
the animals are too sharp for him. 
Ow, in the leg! 
Ow, in the neck! 
Ow, in the face! 
Ow, in the other place! 
The glockenspiel is trapped, his escape they are 
foiling, so he jumps into a kettle drum, which is 
boiling.