They say to have her hair done, Liz flies all the way to France
And Jackie's seen in a discoth'eque doin' a brand new dance
And the White House social season should be glittering and gay
But here in Topeka, the rain is a fallin'
The faucet is a drippin' and the kids are a bawlin'
One of 'em a-toddlin and one is a crawlin'
And, one's on the way.

I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact
And Debbie's out in Vegas workin' up a brand new act
While the TV's showin' Newlywed's, a real fun game to play
But here in Topeka, the screen door's a bangin'
The coffee's boilin' over and the worsh needs a hangin'
One want a cookie and one wants a changin'
And, one's on the way.

Now what was I doin'?
Jimmy get away from there
Darn, there goes the phone
Hello honey. What's that you say
You're bringin' a few ole army buddies home
You're callin' from a bar
Get away from there
No, not you honey, I was talking to the baby
Wait a minute, honey, the door bell
Honey, could you stop by the market and.
Hello?
Hello?
Well I'll be.

The girls in New York City, they all march for women's lib
And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live
And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today
Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin'
The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin'
One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin'
Lord, one's on the way.

Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins again... a