surrender to the air 
let the sky bare this soul 
free and bright like a lodestar 
leading to the sun 
warming from both sides 
nothing like these killing arms 
that suffocate true desire.
(i can't watch myself live to see the day where I break)
that day is flowing towards me.
like waves gaining pace
like tides that never change
more evenly.
more quietly.
the endless cycle of give and take 
the careful words we have the guts to say
the unfulfillment that has numbed my insides and sealed 
my fate.
i have to give in to the ground below my feet
as we edge closer to those final steps 
I can hear the earth begging:
“the rats, they want you
the soil's calling”