[child: whispering]

When I was going up the stairs

I met a man, who wasn't there

He wasn't there again today

I wish I wish, he would go away



[Intro:]

Mr. Barbosa, it's a brave step you comin to get help

And I commend you for that

But we gotta figure out what you want (uh-huh)

What do you really want? (yo, c'mon)



[Verse 1:]

Dreams of my gandmother's house

That's where you felt the safest

The word "therapist," split it in half "the rapist"

Yo who the fuck are you to analyze my behaviors?

Oh I promise you all this anger you showin is anguish

I guess I wasn't ready to be so famous

But you couldn't live with yourself if you had remained nameless

It's been me, myself and I all my life

Now me and this psychiatrist tryin to explain what we write

Explain whether I'm black or I'm white

Explain cryin myself to sleep every night

Explain slashin my wrists with a knife

Too high, Icarus flight, niggaz is right

I'm the lowest form of human being, for being different

For being gifted, for feelin iffy about writin verses with no meaning

In relationships you showin too much feeling

Why would any woman treat you better than you said

you were treated by your own mother?

I heard out of the mouth of a 25-year-old woman without the initiative 

to wanna move out of her momma's house but claimin she wanna be my spouse

Questions unanswered by psychiatric profession

My little cousin's an alter boy 

but some priest altered that boy during confession

I think a gun's a better investment

But you stepped into my practice right now seekin direction

It's the end of your session

See this weapon? I ain't ready to leave, for I have seen the enemy



[Chorus: Chino singing]

I just want, to, be... safe in my own skin

[x2] (I just wanna be safe in my own skin)

[whispered:] Just wanna be safe

I just want, to, be... happy again

(I just wanna be safe in my own skin)

[whispered:] Just wanna be safe

(I just wanna be safe)

But I'm so fucked up I don't even wanna deal with myself, anymore

[x2] (I just wanna be safe in my own skin)

[whispered:] Just wanna be safe, in my own skin



[Verse 2:]

Finally I'm ready to be safe in my own skin

I'm tired of searchin for love I never got

Until you rocked

Yeah, Chino XL took over to protect Derek Barbosa

Okay, now we're gettin closer

I was an only child and he bought me Monopoly

That takes at least three people to play it

That wasn't stoppin me

Wasn't hard for me to be more than one person

Rehearsin at 7 years-old Brad Pitt in "Fight Club"'s Tyler Durden

Behind close curtains

That's it!

Every time a child suffers a trauma the personality splits

I seen it in cases where women are raped

It's like the spirit leavin the body as some form of escape

It never comes back quite the right way

Creatin a person to save 'em you might say

But enslaves me in another way, I'm like a 28-year-old runaway

Mr. Barbosa, could you please put the gun away?

I wanna end it like Hitler, cyanide and a bullet at the same time

I mean he is the same zodiac as mine

Let's talk about your mom

What about my mom?

What about a mom and all the closest friends that she lost in Vietnam

Does that excuse her for being such a selfish bitch?

Or lettin my grandfather die on a park bench?

Freezing cold from a heart attack on Christmas

His heart broken like some Greek wedding dishes

Are you happy Doctor hearin all my business?

Well here's more, right now I don't know where one of my kids is

I've been forbidden for visitin where the baby lives

Craziness the decision, the crib's in a place that's dangerous

See right now I'm missin so much that I wanna vomit

Drowning my sins in a gin and tonic

Yeah but when you pick up the bottle

to drink out of it, it really drinks out of you

True

Metaphor, the most powerful of right hemisphere techniques

but your case, it's ruinin you...



[Chorus]



[Verse 3:]

Yo Doctor, do you really deserve to get paid for what you think?

Do you lack in manhood, is that why they call you a shrink?

Heard Mariah's one of your clients, but her breakdown's persist?

Behind her back do you ever just call her "crazy bitch?"

  You are prone to depression

That don't take a genius to see

You call this your practice, you ain't practicin on me

As a child they gave me Ritalin to clam down

As a grown man record companies keep fiddlin with my sound

My abandonment issues run deeper than you know

I'll tell you all about it on my next album, I promise

My family ain't ready for me to be that honest

It'll change everything like yoga changed Madonna

Like India changed Alanis, starin at my reflection like I'm Adonnis

But Derek, why you so angry and violent?

I'm a broken machine - my past 

is water under the bridge but the lies have poisoned it from upstream

It's that sad of a dream that can shatter the mind 

of a child and destroy the thing that holds him together by string

Feedin off my own emotion that my girl split

I'm sorry Doctor, I'm just nuttier than squirrel shit

Maybe not, you cannot give in to global consiousness

And your individuality will be dead like Charles Bronson is

Manuel Barbosa, that's who my father is, fellow misogynist

He's still in the Bronx, let him know Chino accomplishes

monsterous ghetto concertos, respected artist like Mozart is

But he could've alleviated some of the hardships

My prognosis, when you're confronted

with a difficult situation, you have failure to regulate

the correct emotional reaction, causin unnecessary

depression or anger towards normal things that would happen

The doctor started laughin, I asked "Why you offendin me?"

He said

Do you realize that you've invented me?

You're alone in this room and I think you need some help

I really hate to see you livin in this hell

It been seven years now that you've been sittin in this cell

Awaitin execution for the murder of your wife Michelle

To my knees I fell - the guards busted in 

but no matter how hard they beat me, I still refused to yell...



[whispered:] I saw my mother's face



[Chorus]