There's a place where the birds sing bass (base)
Rabbits laugh in a bulldog's face
Trains don't stop at my home town
'Cause woodpeckers knocked the depot down

There the girls grow tall and slim,
The boys grow whiskers on their chin,
Their ears grow out and their toes turn in,
Out in that Western town

Folks don't stay out very late
Way out West in Kansas,
They take the sidewalks in at eight
Way out West in Kansas

It's some town, by heck, I'll swear,
You can stand in the old town square
And knock on ev... er... y front door
Way out West in Kansas
Additional Verses
I know a couple, man and wife
Way out west in Kansas
They sit out on their porch at night
Way out west in Kansas
They sit out on the porch at night
And hold each others' hands so tight
If one turns loose they start to fight
Way out west in Kansas

The sun's so hot that eggs will hatch,
Way out west in Kansas;
It popped the corn in a popcorn patch,
Way out west in Kansas.
An old mule coming down the path,
Saw the corn and lost his breath.
Thought it was snow and froze to death,
Way out west in Kansas.