i got dibs on drums

and first say on the mike

rule number six for life

is stay on the bike

and as soon as you can

get rid of the trainin wheels

there's no way to explain 

how good an ?attendant? feels

it's better than nothin

but it's more fun than pinball

but when it's done poorly

it's enough to make the skin crawl

it's like chewin on tin foil

the only thing worse

is when kids peddle drums

without payin a few dues first

so don't ask what my drums are

'cause i either won't tell you

or else i got a list of

phony records to sell you

'cause see noone helped me

and as a matter of fact

there's a thrill in the hunt

for a platter of wax

it's calles searchin

for the perfect beat

the owner is prestigious

to those with the knowledge

and achieve sacriligious ???

bootlegs and reissues

i avoid 'em like a plague

but don't ask where i look

'cause i'll lie or be vague

i'm on the lookout for beats

every little second

checkin country western

even heavy metal records

leave no stone uncovered

for every ten took in

you may find none with 

ten hours spend lookin

but that's what makes

a good score so rewarding

even if you spend 20 bucks

on a rare recording

so don't ask what my drums are

'cause i either won't tell you

or else i've got a list of

phony records to sell you