Well I love New York like everyone

And I go to Las Vegas to Chill

I like Denver Colorado cause it's so laid back

And Chicago keeps it real

I only leave Dallas when I have to, but

When I do I like Tulsa, OK

And I ain't got nothing against California

But I can't stand LA



Well Orlando Florida is humid but it's swell

Austin and Nashville both freakin' rock (yes they do! )

And New Orleans is evil but it's part of the appeal

You can gamble drink and swear until you drop

The state of Ohio's been great to our band

Along with Phili and Green Bay

I got nothing but love for Hollywood

But I can't stand LA



I like Salt Lake City, Portland, Frisco, Santa Fe

Indianappolis and Hartford, too

Boise, Memphis, Souix Falls, and of course KC

Along with Pittsburg and Kalamazoo

Atlanta is our home away from home and here's a shout out to Sauget

And I wish my friends would leave that place

'Cause I can't stand LA



Traffic Sucks

No protected lefts

Snooty fucks

Pollution fills the air

Gang Fights

$7 beers

And the threat of breaking off into the sea



(And now to give LA the benefit of the doubt)

Jimmy Kimmel In and Out and great sushi

And diversity everywhere

Really hot chicks wearing next to nothing

And the Santa Monica Pier

Thank you for hair metal and the 84 olympics and for the BFS radio play

But please don't take this personally

No I'm happy to visit, but I'm happier to leave

And I guess what it is I'm trying to say is

I can't stand LA!