(Deck the halls with boughs of holly fa la la la la la la la la)
(Tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la la la la la)

Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging cickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they'll waste
Oh god I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must've snapped
Because I grabbed a baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from home
If you don't wanna get me down
Just leave the presents and let me be alone.

Well I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn't have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package (hot damn)

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from home
If you don't wanna get me down
Just leave the presents and let me be alone

I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please postmark it)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please postmark it)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please postmark it)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please postmark it)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas