One two, one two

The Diabolical's back again

With the Cutmaster Cool V

At the boards my man Paul Sea

But this goes out to my man Danny Dan

The beat man that makes you understand

He want me to tell somethin bout this girl named Kim

I'ma do it like this



[Verse One]

Well it was one of those days when nothing's right with the world

I was half broke, bored, and fed up with my girl

Lookin for somethin to do but wonderin how long

It would take for the next thing to go wrong

So I decided to hang, go out and ease my mind

I told myself you would never know what you might find

I took a hot bubble bath, instead of a shower

Got rid of "The Dragon," it took me a hour

Decided on a sweatsuit, Gucci red and white

Some rings and some ropes, and then I'm on for the night

The Gucci sneakers some cologne, I think Aramis

I look in the mirror and said, "Biz you look - marvelous!"

I jetted out the door, and hailed a taxi

And said "54 in a hurry," and jumped in the backseat

We arrived he said, "$8.50 and that don't count my tip"

I said, "Don't drink and drive - 

GIMME MY CHANGE before I bust ya lip!"

The club was jumpin and word is bond

I saw girls walkin around with jeans painted on

Splittin they skirts up the middle, tight leather and lace

Both me and Jimmy agree, we're gonna like this place

Took a seat at the bar, the girl said what are ya drinkin?

A Coke and a smile child, and slid her a Lincoln

Took a sip of my four dollars, she looked at me strange

I said, "Psych I bet you thought you was gonna keep the change"

I made my way through the crowd, it was plain to see

Same everywhere I go, all eyes on me

I sat down at the table, and one of the staff

said, "Ain't you the Biz" I said, "Yeah but no autographs"

I sat alone in the corner, and sipped my drink

Happened to look across the room and somebody winked

I did the only thing the Diabolical could do

Looked down to see what that I was attached to

Sure enough it was a girl, a sweet female

Her hair and eyes sparkled like ginger ale

I looked lower to her lips, her chin and her neck

And fantasized about the rest, then decided to check

I sent champagne to her table, the waiter asked her name

He returned with Kim, and I almost came

I checked myself and made sure, I looked alright

And told my dick, "Don't worry - we're fuckin tonight!"

Threw her the Kool-Aid smile, and a dash of charm

I stepped to the lady and tapped her arm

But when she turned around, my smile turned to gloom

She didn't look none like she looked across the room

She had big broad shoulders and her titties was big

They were filled with silicone, and her hair was a wig

She had more makeup than Boy George and Phyllis Diller

Ugly enough to be a monster in "Thriller"

Had hair on her chest longer than King Spade

Even though I got a band, I don't need the AIDS

So I hurried out and left, she said, "Please stay"

I said, "Sorry money grip, I don't go that way"

So I stepped out in a hurry, to gather my wits

And thought that's a damn shame, he had nice tits

And that's the last I ever saw of Kim

You wanna know why?  Cause she's a he and her's a him

Like that and-a, like that and-a

I'm not the man called Dantana

You go on and on and on and on and on and on and on

Don't go to Getty, go to Exxon.. [echoe]



[Biz Markie shout outs and ad libs]