I don't care where I'm goin'

Just as long as I'm with you

Put it there, pal. Put it there



I'll be just like your horses

And I'll stick to you like glue

Put it there, pal. Put it there



I'm glad you're fooling Pepsodent (oh, that happy snow)

Stealing all that cash

I hear your show on Thursdays (nice, huh?)

What a lot of eggs you smash



Well at least I don't depend upon

Colonna's big moustache (oh, he gave me the brush)

You're faithful and you're fair

Put it there (skin me Dad, skin me)



You've got that something in your voice

So right for selling cheese (hustle a lot of the stuff)

Put it there, pal. Put it there (put that back in the bowl)



You know, I think your jokes are great (really?)

It's just that folks are hard to please (they're just snobs, that all)

Put it there, pal. Put it there



Your face could make a fortune

Just your nose should make a lot (how do you siphon?)

I like the way you wear those gaudy-colored shirts you've got, boy!

The only time a rainbow ever covered up a pot

You're such a perfect square (oh-oh, is that on the paper?)

(where?, where?)



Shall we dance?

Sorry, I have my heavy underwear on

Oh, just to once around, to the adrenalin, huh?

Well, OK, if I lead



My colleague, my crony, my cohort, my friend

Companions, confederates, chums to the end

Like meat and potatoes, or salt and tomatoes

Boy, what a blend



Don't put it in the paper (don't worry about me)

Don't put it on the air (I'll finish it)

Don't put it in your pipe

Put it there



Confidentially, do you like this as well as singing?

Leave your name with the girl when you go out

We may get to you for some crowd noises

Be sure and call me

All right